AU scenes for Blackened Wing's Blood Moon fanfic
by YenGirl
Summary: AU chapters/scenes that my overactive imagination served me with for the wonderful VK fanfic Blood Moon, with kind encouragement and permission from Blackened Wing. COMPLETE.
1. Chap 1: AU for Chap 5

**Author Notes:** Like Crimson Door, **Blackened Wing**'s angsty, lovely and absolutely gripping Blood Moon fanfic has inspired AU scenes in my mind even before the actual chapters came out! So far, she's been the main recipient of my overactive imagination but again with her kind encouragement and permission, here they are for your reading pleasure...

**Pre-requisite:** Needless to say, you should be familiar with Blood Moon for these AU scenes to make sense. Otherwise, it's just spoiling a terrific read for you...

**Disclaimer:** The honour of owning Vampire Knight and the characters of Kaname Kuran, Zero Kiriyu & Yuki Cross belong to Matsuri Hino. The honour of owning Blood Moon belongs to **Blackened Wing**. Me? I just own my overactive imagination and these AU scenes :D

**Summary:** In Chapter 4, Kaname rescued Zero from drowning in the lake, gave him his blood then carried him back to his rooms in the Moon Dorms. After performing a blood seal on Zero to possibly lengthen his lifespan, Kaname rests on top of Zero in the bathtub. But with both of them naked, it's hard to ignore each other's presence...

**Additional Comments:** I wrote this Chapter 5 AU even before the actual one came out so I know it's kind of melodramatic and over the top. LOL, I was trying so hard _not_ to make them both say those Three Little Words! But Chapters 1 to 4 had stirred up my emotions so much and I was so caught up with the boys' suffering that I just had to let it all out! It's a lemony chapter too, even though a far cry from the angsty and stupendous one in the actual Chapter 5 :D

The actual ending of Blood Moon Chapter 4:

_Kaname wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, resting against Zero, listening to his heartbeat and inhaling his scent, but eventually the warmth and the nearness seeped into his bones, a warmth he had not felt since before Yuki died. Silently, the pureblood lost his long battle with himself. He could no longer ignore the way Zero's blood pulsed in his veins, the way his breath sounded, the way he smelled, the way his beautiful, familiar body was completely naked under his own... He'd never intended to touch Zero again like this, but he couldn't stop himself as he slowly turned his head, pressing a soft kiss against the hunter's sternum. He shouldn't, he should be trying to distance himself, not bring them closer... but he couldn't. He was no longer his own master and he needed Zero too much. It'd been so long..._

_He placed another kiss above the last, and another above that, warm lips slowly working their way in a straight line up Zero's chest, stopping to lightly lap up the few beads of water that had accumulated in the hollow of the hunter's breastbone, tasting Zero's intoxicating flavor on every drop._

_You can't abandon me, Zero... you can't... _

- Chapter Start --

Zero's eyes had closed as he rested in the tub. He was feeling comfortable... even a little at peace. The sting from his injuries were temporarily numb from Kaname's earlier ministrations and the warm water flowing over his legs and steam arising from it all combined to induce a lethargic kind of quiet in his limbs. The pureblood's head was a warm and sweetly familiar weight on his chest and Zero closed his eyes tight at the pain that familiarity brought. How many times had they lain like this in bed together, Kaname's head resting as it was now, their breathing slowing down together after yet another intense session of love making? But no, those times had only been one-sided. It had been just sex on Kaname's side, it always had. Zero had to remember that even though it hurt unbearably. If only to remind himself he was just a worthless pawn in the pureblood's grand scheme of life. Hot tears pricked at the back of the hunter's eyes again. Somehow, that surprised him a little. He thought he'd cried out every single hurt he had, back at the lake…

When Zero felt Kaname's warm lips on his chest, his eyes fluttered open again. It was time. Time to pay back the pureblood for the blood he'd taken earlier. The hunter's breath hiccoughed lightly as he willed more tears not to form in his eyes. He didn't care how this transaction took place, he didn't care if Kaname was rough or gentle. But he hoped with all his broken and bleeding heart that it was the former because then it might be just a little more easier to convince himself that he didn't care about the pureblood.

Kaname's lips paused at the pulse beating erratically in Zero's throat and he shuddered deeply, fighting the sudden and familiar urge to pounce on that unprotected and exposed neck right beneath his lips and taste Zero's blood again, feel that sweet connection from knowing his fangs were in his lover's neck just like how Zero's had been in his earlier. But no… the boy had never wanted him. Only his blood. If the hunter could get that bottled, then he wouldn't even need to lay eyes on him. It made Kaname feel that he was expandable, made important to Zero only by the pure Kuran blood that flowed through his veins.

But even though Kaname called himself all kinds of a fool, he couldn't stop himself from nibbling on the pale skin of that neck, the smell and feel of that skin oh so sweetly familiar that it brought a rush of memories back to him. Memories of their bodies entwined on the bed, moving and rocking against each other, memories of him pressed close to the boy as they exchanged playful kisses and nips, teasing each other's necks before sheer lust and hunger drove them to sink their fangs into each other's necks, feeding on each other. Feeding each other's lust. Each memory made his body shake in remembered pain and Kaname shut his eyes tightly, feeling again the sting of tears pricking at the backs of his eyes.

He had to stop thinking, or he would drive himself crazy with wanting and longing for Zero… Kaname's lips hovered temptingly above his lover's for a moment, his breath brushing the other's face, then abruptly, he stood up. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, turning away from that tantalising body still in the tub… With decisive movements, he twisted the tap to shut off the warm flow of water from the shower and stepped out of the tub, reaching for the towel.

Zero's eyes had closed again but they blinked open once more. Kaname was briskly drying himself but there was no hiding the fact he was still very, very much aroused. Then the pureblood turned to him and Zero swallowed, seeing the flare of desire in the red eyes that raked his naked body. It should have disgusted the hunter, knowing what Kaname wanted, it should have sickened him to know that he was about to be used again… but Zero couldn't stop the answering spike of sheer lust that shot through him… and showed the pureblood what he most likely already knew anyway.

And Kaname couldn't turn away from that anymore than he could stop breathing.

Zero made a sudden movement as if to stand up then and the pureblood reached out automatically to hold his arm. "Slowly," he said. The sudden flicker of concern in Kaname's eyes, as if he might actually be worried, made Zero pause. Kaname started to dry him off with the same slightly damp towel, and the ex-human was struck speechless. The pureblood's actions now were very different from how he had undressed the other earlier. The brief, perfunctory movements were replaced now by gentle, sweeping caresses as he moved the towel, gently swiping at the droplets of water glistening on Zero's body as if his skin was as soft and as tender than a newborn baby's...

And it just made this all the more difficult to pretend that what they were going to do was just a transaction. Zero's eyes shut tightly again as he felt himself quite suddenly lifted and cradled against Kaname's warm chest as the pureblood carried him out of the bathroom and laid him gently on the large double bed.

The room was noticeably cooler after the warm and misty air of the bathroom and Zero shivered involuntarily. "Let me warm you," Kaname's husky voice said and Zero felt the familiar weight as Kaname lowered himself to half lie on top of him. Those words rang a distant bell somewhere in the hurting and deeply ashamed recesses of Zero's mind - when had the pureblood first said those intoxicating words to him? Was it the time he'd first taken him, back in the warehouse after he'd killed Ichijo and was suffering the devastating effects of a broken bond, however unwanted it was?

Zero shivered again, brought back to the present by the feel of Kaname's lips claiming his, and the smooth fingers gliding over his chest, trailing fire in their wake, bringing Zero's numb body back to tingling life. Making him burn for the pureblood. Weakly, the hunter shook his head. _Damnit_, he didn't want this. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to hurt again. He just - he just wanted Kaname to get it over with. To just take what he paid for, then leave him alone. Before Zero could trick himself into believing that they could go back to the way they were, to the way things had been.

Kaname wanted to linger with caressing Zero's beautiful body but he was already shaking with need. It had been so long and he felt like he might go insane if he didn't bury himself in the boy right now and feel him to his very core. Kaname left Zero for a moment while he searched almost frantically for lube in his nightstand drawer.

Zero could hear the sounds of Kaname's urgent search and he screwed his eyes shut even tighter. _Well, you drank his blood, didn't you? What did you expect, that Kaname would be satisfied with a simple, verbal 'thank you'?_ Zero knew he shouldn't complain really… Kaname always ensured it was an incredible experience for him. Always. There had never been a time when it hadn't been. The pureblood would inevitably wring an almost unbearable high from Zero, leaving his senses screaming with joy and his body shivering in absolute bliss.

Kaname moved over him again, his knowing fingers searching, stroking and stretching as he swiftly prepared Zero with all the limited patience he could muster. He was only just barely hanging onto his control. Zero's eyes remained shut. He knew, from the ragged breathing he could hear that Kaname wanted him very badly. He could tell from the slightly shaking fingers delving into him now that if it had been anyone else _but _Kaname, that person wouldn't even have bothered to get out of the tub. Probably wouldn't even have bothered to try to stretch and ready him first.

Kaname replaced his fingers with himself. He was not as rough as he had been in the past sometimes, but not as gently as he could have been either. The pureblood's body was shaking uncontrollably, his heart slamming in his chest. It had just been so long and he wanted Zero so much, he'd been so close to just taking him in the bathtub just now when he toweled him dry...

And Zero - God help him - he couldn't hold back the hopeless cry he gave then, the sound broken, wounded and anguished, as if something irreplaceable inside him was dying. He couldn't help making that sound anymore than he could stop the tears that now coursed past his closed lids and disappeared into his hair. He wanted _so much _for this to be more than just a – a physical coupling. More than just Kaname exacting payment from him…

That anguished cry struck at Kaname's heart like a blow and he froze immediately, the sheer pain in it echoing in his heart and in their bond. "Zero?" he breathed, horrified to see the boy's face beneath him, pale, eyes shut tight as if in pain and the wetness escaping ceaselessly from them. Oh God… he'd hurt Zero. He'd just made the hunter hate him even more, if that were possible.

"Did – Did I hurt you?" he asked urgently. Such a stupid question, of course he had, why _else _would Zero look like this? Sharp anguish squeezed Kaname's heart, making his breathing hitch, and he eased out of his lover at once.

"Zero, don't, please don't..." Kaname begged hoarsely, not knowing what else to say, knowing only that Zero had to stop looking like he was in pain, pain that he, Kaname, had caused. Then Zero's eyes opened and a lump appeared in Kaname's throat when he saw the stark misery reflected in the dazed, amethyst silver depths. Quickly, Zero wiped the backs of his hands across his stinging eyes. "Go on," he said hoarsely. The unmistakable tremors in that raw voice squeezed Kaname's heart even tighter.

"But-" the pureblood broke off, then glanced down between them. It was obvious Zero wanted him too, wanted _this _as much as he did. "But you want this..." he said and he couldn't keep the sheer confusion from colouring his voice. There was silence. "Don't you?" whispered Kaname, looking uncertain and lost.

Zero looked at him, then unbelievably, started to laugh. The sound was harsh. Mirthless... and it grated on Kaname's emotions, leaving them even more raw and hurting than they had been. "Yeah, I want this, Kaname. So what if it makes me the biggest loser in the world? So what if you think I'm just a sorry, screwed up loser who can't stop lusting after you? I can't stop wanting you anymore than I can stop breathing. Even though I despise myself. Even though I know what you think of me. Even though I know very well you're just using me each time..." _Even though __I die a little more each time._

Zero was past caring what Kaname thought of him now even though he'd never seen the pureblood look so shocked. So now he knew just how much Zero - cared - for him. How much he craved the pureblood's approval and respect. How much he wanted to belong at Kaname's side for always. The vision of Kaname blurred and Zero palmed his eyes angrily. "So – so just do it, OK?" he said wretchedly. "Just – just take me, anyhow you like. I don't care. And consider it as payment for the blood I took just now. And then… and then… don't – don't touch me anymore..." _Or I might just beg you to keep me at your side forever._

Kaname's face drained of colour completely at the hopeless look in Zero's eyes and at his words. He swallowed convulsively. "Is that what you think of me?" he whispered. "That this... this is just a transaction? That I... make love with you because I _want _something in return for giving you my blood?" He swallowed hard. That thought hurt even more than the time when Yuuki had said she'd stay by his side if only he'd save Zero, that time when Ichiru had grievously wounded him… had it really been so very long ago? Or only just a few months?

"Zero, you can't – you can't mean that you think of it... of us... of _me_, as just a – a...…" Kaname couldn't even continue. The mere thought that Zero might be harbouring such thoughts about him was excruciatingly painful to even imagine but the fact that they might very well be true… it hurt so very much more than he could ever have thought. So this was what the one person whose opinion mattered more to him than anyone else's thought of him. Great... just freaking great. Kaname sat back, his mind stunned and his heart shattered.

Zero watched him warily. When it became obvious Kaname wasn't about to move anytime soon, the hunter slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows. "Why don't you do it, Kaname?" he asked softly. "... it's not as if I'd stop you. It's not as if I even _could..._" The pureblood was so compelling and passionate that each time they made love, Zero could never stop himself from falling under his spell, no matter how much he tried. But Kaname took the words to mean something else entirely – that all this time, he'd _forced _Zero into accepting him. Into accepting his kisses, suffering his caresses and tolerating his possession. Into thinking that Zero thought he had to give _something _in return for the pure blood that kept him sane.

Kaname looked up and Zero's breath caught at the sheer pain in the dark eyes, now also as wet as his. "All this time, and I never knew..." the pureblood whispered brokenly. Zero frowned a little. Kaname had never known that he was hopelessly in thrall with the pureblood all this time? He voiced his thoughts tentatively, moved despite himself at Kaname's anguish.

"No, Zero. Never knew how much you hated me," clarified Kaname, the words squeezing his chest until his breathing was coming in short pants as if he couldn't get enough air.

Zero inhaled sharply. "I don't hate you," he breathed. "But you made it so clear that night..." he swallowed painfully, Kaname's words still echoing in his mind. "That I don't have any claim on you, that I – I just warmed your bed–" he couldn't continue, it was just too painful. He sat up and turned away from Kaname, silent tears still coursing down his cheeks.

Kaname was stunned for a second time. Yes, he'd said those words and he remembered each and every one of them, shouted at Zero in a moment of blinding pain and sheer gut wrenching guilt at having made Yuuki's condition worsen. But he hadn't meant any of them then, he hadn't! They were just - just words! How could Zero have believed him? How could he have thought he was someone so worthless, to be used in exchange for blood? _Oh God_, was this why Zero had turned away from him and been willing to forage elsewhere for blood? What this why Zero had tried to commit suicide, because in addition to losing Yuuki, he'd thought he'd been used by Kaname all this time?

"Zero..." Kaname's voice was soft, unsure, guilty. Slowly, the silver haired vampire turned to face him and brown eyes met silvery amethyst, both filled with pain. Both filled with tears.

Kaname had to swallow again before he could speak. "I never thought that of you, Zero... that you had to pay me for my blood. I – what we had, it was never payment. I give my blood freely to you. Always."

Zero stared at him. "But you said... that..."

Kaname's eyes filled again with pain. "I know what I said then," he whispered hoarsely, holding Zero's gaze. Wanting him to believe, _willing_ him to believe what he said now. "But I didn't mean it, I – I'd just found out about Yuuki, how her condition had worsened and _I_ had done it. Me. Her _protector._ The person she trusted since the day she was born. The person her parents trusted. The person Cross had entrusted her to... and I failed her. When she needed me most, I _failed _her!" The words were bitter and self-condemning and the pureblood's voice shook towards the end. His head dropped forward, the long, damp hair hiding the tears from Zero.

Zero swallowed in return, hearing the pain the words and feeling the echo of pain in their bond. "You couldn't have known," he whispered. He shouldn't have raged at Kaname back then, he knew how Kaname felt about Yuuki, he knew how much the pureblood had always loved her. He remembered how Kaname had stopped himself from feeding on her even when he was weak from the constant torture and starving with hunger back in Ichijo's cellar. How could Zero have said those damning words to Kaname? Yes, he had been frightened out of his mind that Yuuki's life was slipping away and there wasn't anything they could do... but.... to have said, no shouted, those words in Kaname's face, knowing he had to have been already devastated with guilt...

Kaname looked at him. "I killed her, Zero," he stated flatly. "I killed her," he repeated, in a hoarse whisper. "I kept you from protecting her when she needed you, and I tried to hard to save her but I killed her instead. And now, there's only you left, and you... hate me." There was a sense of finality in those soft words and Kaname got off the bed a little unsteadily, dragging his hands through his hair, trying to control the tears that were still trying to escape his eyes. He thought he'd cried them all out, but it looked like he hadn't. He was just a bloody idiot who'd screwed up his life and the lives of the two people he cared for most in the world.

Zero stared at Kaname's back, digesting the words and feeling the brutal and painful honesty in each spoken syllable. He knew Kaname had not _wanted _Yuuki to die like that. He knew that with Yuuki gone, he was the only other person Kaname had to cling onto. Someone who was closer than just a friend, closer than just an acquaintance. Someone who had gone through pretty much the same hell he had. Someone who understood him. Or should, anyway... And _he _was that person. Only he'd been so wrapped up in his own guilt and pain that he hadn't noticed just how much the pureblood was hurting. Just as much as him if not more, only Kaname could never have voiced it out to anyone but him. And Zero had stayed away from him, pushing him away when the pureblood had needed him the most.

They'd both been in such pain. They'd both been at fault. Zero swallowed again. So much to say, so much that had already been said. Was it still possible they had anything left in common, other than the bond they shared? He had to believe they did, and he had to try.

"Kaname, hold me," he whispered. The pureblood started then he swung around. "What did you say?" he demanded disbelievingly.

Zero stretched out his hand. "Make love to me," he whispered, colour creeping up his pale cheeks. Kaname hesitated, his eyes on Zero as he moved forward slowly, entwining his fingers with Zero's. The pureblood was looking heartbreakingly uncertain. "Zero, you want this? You want me?" he murmured. _After all that I've said to you? After all that I've done?_

Zero nodded, his eyes holding Kaname's as well. "I want you," he said softly. It was the first time he'd ever said that and his face warmed even more. There was a moment when he thought Kaname would actually refuse him, but the pureblood uttered a choked sound then they were in each other's arms, holding on tightly to each other.

It seemed to take forever before their bodies stopped trembling but Kaname finally lifted Zero's chin and kissed him then they were falling back onto the bed, tongues mating, fingers touching and stroking. Soft moans and pants filled the air as their bodies shifted on the bed. And when Kaname took Zero this time, the hunter only whispered his name, his arms and legs holding the pureblood close to him as they moved together in unison. Kissing and touching like they'd never kissed or touched before. Remembering again the feel and scent of each other's skin and hair. And every touch and motion between them swept them both deeper and deeper into a shatteringly intense release that left them trembling in each other's arms.

Kaname's head was pillowed on Zero's chest, their breathing slowing down and getting more regular. Zero's fingers were slowly combing through the pureblood's long, damp hair. He didn't know what to think anymore but for the first time in so many weeks, he felt a sense of peace. This was where he belonged... in Kaname's arms.

Kaname's eyes were closed, listening to the slowly steadying thud of Zero's heartbeat against his ear, feeling the boy's fingers in his hair. It had been so long since Zero had let him near like this, so long since he had put his arms around him. It was so peaceful where he was right now. This was where he belonged... in Zero's arms.

-- Chapter End --


	2. Chap 2: AU for Chap 10

**Author Notes:** Thank you for all the alerts, favourites and reviews! Glad you all liked the previous chapter although luckily for everyone, that wasn't the real outcome of Blood Moon Chapter 5 and the story went on for a whole lot longer! :D Here's the next chapter…

**Summary:** Towards the end of Chapter 9, Zero is reminded of painful memories of Yuki again. Aido follows to talk some sense into him and Zero can't help pondering on the noble's words for a while before deciding to go back to his room to sleep. But what if he didn't end up in his room?

**Additional Comments:** Again, I wrote this Chapter 10 AU even before the actual one came out because Vani had mentioned in one of her review replies that an angsty Zero taking Kaname scene was going to happen. Well, being very enthusiastic about it (or more accurately, over excited, LOL), I mistook it to mean in the very next chapter! _–rolls eyes at herself for jumping the gun- _So yes, this is a lemony chapter as well and please don't hate Zero too much... As always, if you haven't read Blood Moon yet, please do. You won't regret it – I sure didn't!

The actual ending of Blood Moon Chapter 9:

_Aido resisted the urge to tell Zero to shove it, as he wasn't a prefect any more. "You can believe what you want, Zero," he said quietly instead, the unexpected tone catching Zero more off guard than any snarky remarks would have. "All I can speak to is what I see. But what I see is that there is a pureblood back there who is willing to do a hell of a lot for you. You've no idea how many people would want to be in your shoes, ex-human and all. I just want Kaname to be happy, Zero. If you make him happy... then it doesn't matter what I think, that makes you pretty special. I won't let anything happen to him, so I won't let anything happen to you," the blonde said with a quiet, fierce protectiveness. "So you can just stop looking at the water that way and start thinking of better things to do." Aido didn't know what Kaname saw in Zero, but for Kaname's sake he was willing to try to learn. And maybe for Zero's sake... he wanted him to lose that hopeless look in his eyes that was like staring into the soul of one of the damned._

_Aido turned and walked away back towards his dorm._

_Zero watched him leave before his gaze slid back to the horizon and the rising sun. Aido was wrong about him and Kaname, but... the fact that he'd even tried to reach out in his own way was surprising enough to make Zero mull over what he'd said. __Did__ he automatically put the worst construction on everything Kaname did? Or was he just being realistic? After all, the man was a __**vampire**__... and so are you. __The same old voices, whispering inside him, torn between two worlds that he should never have been forced to juggle._

_Zero rubbed his eyes and turned away from the sun, which was starting to make them sting. Slowly, he walked away from the lake. He was tired, exhausted from his workout earlier and from the constant confusion warring inside of him. He was tired enough though that perhaps for once he would sleep well for a while. That sounded good. He didn't want to think anymore today._

-- Chapter Start --

Contrary to his earlier thoughts, Zero found himself standing outside Kaname's rooms. Without conscious thought, his feet had carried him right here. Zero knew he was tired and he should have gone straight back to his own dorm room… but was this where he actually wanted to end up?

Actually, Zero had seen that smile too, the one that Kaname had given him earlier in the dining hall... Aido didn't have to tell him that. But the pureblood was such a good actor, Zero had thought it was false. Just like all the rest of those intimate moments – false. _Fake._ Something the pureblood knew too well how to do. Only… a small nagging thought had Zero suddenly worrying his lower lip. What if that smile _wasn't_ fake? What if Kaname really _was_ pleased to see him there in the dining hall earlier?

What if what Aido had said _had_ been true?

Was Kaname crazy about him? A mirthless smile twisted Zero's lips. He didn't need for the pureblood to be crazy about him, just the thought that Kaname cared, even a little, would make all the difference in the world to the hunter. And how had _he _reacted? Zero paused outside Kaname's door, suddenly irresolute. He'd pushed away the pureblood so many times, did he even have the right to linger here anymore? To expect anymore than what Kaname had given him?

Zero sighed tiredly, running a hand around the back of his neck. He really shouldn't be standing here, looking so indecisive and right outside Kaname's door when... The door in question opened suddenly and the very object of his distracted thoughts stood there, shirtless and obviously getting ready for bed.

"Zero..." Kaname uttered, looking like he didn't quite believe his eyes. He had felt Zero's presence outside the door of course, but he didn't believe it – it seemed impossible that the hunter would actually _be _here, without being coerced or forced. Zero saw the astonishment on Kaname's face. Again, there was that awkward moment and the hunter quickly took a step back. "I – never mind..." he mumbled, turning around.

"No – Zero, wait!" Kaname's long fingers had closed around the hunter's arm. Zero looked back over his shoulder and Kaname's breath caught at the uncertain look in the silvery eyes, still gray with despair. The boy looked so lost, like he didn't belong anywhere anymore. That look hurt the pureblood.

"Don't go," he said softly, his tone almost coaxing. Kaname started to pull Zero inside, surprised when the hunter offered little resistance. The door shut behind Zero even though Kaname didn't even glance at it, focusing his attention on the boy in front of him. Kaname was tired and testy now and he needed sleep. But even more than sleep, he needed Zero. More than anything else in the world. Not really knowing what to say, and not wanting to say the wrong thing, Kaname stepped forward and just closed his arms around Zero's shoulders, burying his face in the hunter's warm neck. The pureblood breathed in Zero's familiar scent, knowing that his own body had already started trembling but just at this moment, he didn't care. He didn't care that he was betraying his weakness to Zero again. He just... wanted him so much. He wanted so much to care for Zero. But the hunter would never let him.

Zero felt the slight tremors rippling through Kaname's body, and he tensed up. He knew this would happen if he didn't get away soon. It always did, courtesy of the bond they shared and how it always pulled them together. Zero started to pull away. "Not now, Kaname. I just-" But the pureblood's arms tightened around him immediately.

"No. Don't - don't go, Zero," Kaname whispered into his ear. "Just let me hold you awhile." The odd note of vulnerability in the pureblood's voice caught at Zero. He didn't want to move away either… Slowly, his hands came up and curled around Kaname's back. Unbidden, Zero dipped his head towards the pureblood's neck and started mouthing his bite area. He didn't mean to, but he wanted to. Just as he wanted to breathe in Kaname's scent, so he also wanted to touch and taste the pale perfect skin of his neck. Zero closed his eyes, trying to forget that he wasn't supposed to be here, wanting lose himself in the oh so familiar scent and silky skin, letting his lips and tongue trail up and down the pureblood's neck, feeling his own body awakening with the familiar stirrings of desire.

"Ah... you're not making it easy for me to leave you alone, Zero," murmured Kaname, tilting his head to the side to give his lover more access to his neck. His breath was hitching a little and his arms tightened around Zero even more. His neck was very sensitive to the hunter's touch – just a mere brush of his lips and Kaname could barely think straight. Zero didn't say anything. He wasn't only confusing Kaname, he was also confusing himself. But he just couldn't stop himself from doing this, from wanting the pureblood. Zero thought if he didn't drink Kaname's blood, then it would be OK but even if he didn't, he still wanted Kaname anyway.

Slowly, by silent agreement, they started removing each other's clothes. Kaname's head had dipped to Zero's neck and they let their lips and tongues wring breathless moans and sighs from each other even as their hands unbuttoned and eased clothing off. It was easier for Zero since Kaname was only wearing his trousers. Perhaps it was the more mellow and quieter mood they were both feeling now but neither of them drew blood although they teased each other lightly with their fangs. Zero didn't need to feed again so soon and Kaname was perhaps wary of the scent and taste of blood testing his control again and the high possibility of the other nobles scenting it.

Zero ran his fingertips along Kaname's warm skin, his eyes fluttering close. The pureblood's skin was silky soft under his hands and Zero let them roam over his pureblood lover's toned chest and arms, relearning again every supple and graceful inch. Kaname reciprocated in kind, inwardly rejoicing that Zero was now more… participative than he was yesterday (or was it day before yesterday?). The pureblood definitely wasn't complaining but he was surprised when Zero suddenly grabbed him by the arms and pushed him towards the double bed, tumbling the pureblood back onto the pillows. Zero got onto the bed as well, leaning over Kaname and bracing his hands on either side of the pureblood's head, looking down at him. The tentative and uncertain look in his eyes was now replaced with fire. The silvery irises were tinged with red and his fangs showed behind his parted lips. Zero knew he couldn't control his wanting Kaname anymore than he could control his breathing. But it still made him angry at his helpless fate. As did the realisation that Kaname knew it too but the pureblood didn't say anything, merely looked back at him.

After a long moment, Zero straightened up, his hands lifting from the pillows. With a sudden movement, he raked his nails sharply down Kaname's softly heaving chest. It should have been painful, but it wasn't. The pureblood's back arched a little off the bed, his breath hissing out in surprised pleasure between his teeth as blood welled up instantly from the scratches. The scent of that rich, intoxicating blood drew Zero's fangs out completely and he dipped his head instinctively, licking off the drops of blood even as the scratches closed up and healed.

"Zero..." murmured Kaname breathlessly, reaching for his lover now, his bare legs curling around the other's naked thighs. He wanted the hunter so badly, but at the same time, he thought he knew why Zero had turned aggressive. But Kaname didn't want him to think that all of this was just one-sided. He knew Zero wanted him too, desired him even... but why did it always have to be Kaname who initiated their lovemaking? The hunter could take him anytime. Anywhere.

Kaname stilled as another thought came his mind. Perhaps it would help Zero break out of the horrible apathy he was in, if _he_ turned the aggressor for a change? Kaname couldn't help remembering how their sparring match had brought back the fire to Zero's eyes - he'd been so alive in those few minutes... but it had needed Kaname to taunt him into it, to wake up the passion for life within the hunter. Well, if it came to that, so be it.

"Zero? Take me," Kaname said suddenly. Zero's head snapped up and he looked somewhat incredulously at him, as if the hunter thought he'd heard wrongly. "What?" he breathed. The sight of his own blood on Zero's lips sent a thrill of excitement racing through Kaname and his body reacted accordingly. Yes – he wanted Zero to take him, to pleasure him and to possess him. To hell with it, why should _he _have to initiate things all the time?

"Go on, admit it - you want me," Kaname added, trying to quell the breathless tone in his voice. Inwardly, he knew it was a gamble - push Zero just a little too far and the hunter would just turn and run. But still, Kaname had to try, he had to believe that his reluctant lover wanted this too... and the pureblood wanted so much to see Zero being Zero again, fiery, even aggressive. Zero was still silent, staring at Kaname as if he thought the pureblood slightly mad. A distant part of Kaname registered this fact with wry amusement – perhaps he _was_ mad, but their intimate sessions had almost always ended with him taking the hunter anyway... even their first time had been that way.

Zero sat back on his haunches now, frowning. He wondered if Kaname was playing him again, even as a frisson of excitement slowly uncurled within his gut. God help him, he wanted to... but would Kaname really let him? Or was this just a ploy to get him involved in whatever game the pureblood had just thought up, and this session would inevitably end up like how most of the previous ones had, him below, and Kaname on top. Always on top. Always the winner. Even in this.

Zero stubbornly ignored the small voice inside his brain insisting that most of the time, he wanted Kaname to take him anyway, and that the pureblood always made each encounter incredible for him. Mind blowingly incredible. But he still couldn't stop his body's involuntary reaction, and Kaname saw that.

"Go on..." he urged. "Or are you too scared to?" He deliberately injected a taunting note into his voice, forcing his sculptured lips to curl as if in derision. Zero doggedly kept silent but Kaname could see the he was tempted - perhaps he just needed one little extra push? The pureblood nodded resignedly. "Thought so," he said nonchalantly. Pushing Zero off him, even thought it took every ounce of determination to do so, Kaname sat up and swung his legs to the side of the bed. He waited one second, no more, then started to get up.

Without warning, Zero lunged at him, pushing the pureblood back down onto the pillows again. It was a quick and sudden move and Kaname, caught a little by surprise, had to quickly suppress the instinctive vampire urge to hit back at Zero. He wasn't used to someone grabbing him, almost – attacking - him like that. Kaname looked up at Zero and froze. The boy's face now was a far cry from the uncertain one he'd sported seconds ago. There was no uncertainty now... and no apathy at all. Zero looked fierce as he moved between Kaname's legs, using his knees to nudge them further apart. The hunter bent forward, catching himself on both hands spread on the pillow, on either side of Kaname's head again. The pureblood tensed, captivated, as he looked up at Zero's grim countenance where his lips had pulled back to reveal fully extended fangs.

Zero was furious. He didn't care anymore if this was a game. Yes, there was no denying that Kaname had almost always taken him. But Zero scared to take the upper hand for once? Not likely. Hell no, he would show Kaname _scared. _

Kaname knew he'd roused Zero enough and relief washed through him even if it was mixed with a thrill of excitement. The fire was back in Zero at last, even if only momentarily, but Kaname didn't care. He'd take whatever he could. The pureblood's thoughts broke off as Zero pushed forward. Kaname's breath caught – the hunter was kneeling between his spread legs and was bending his knees for him. It was a stunningly vulnerable position Kaname seldom found himself in and he couldn't help but tense up a little, suddenly wondering if this was really a good idea after all...

But Zero had clamped his hands under Kaname's thighs now and with a sudden movement and no warning at all, had thrust forward hard. Kaname hadn't expected this – he knew Zero wasn't quite as skilled in this matter but he hadn't expected that Zero would just take him like this. Dry. Unprepared. Kaname's back arched and his breath escaped in a pained rush past his lips as he felt Zero's hard length start to push into him. Zero thrust harder and Kaname gasped as the white hot pain increased, shooting through his tense body in all directions, from the very intimate place where he was now half joined with his lover. Zero had indeed _taken_ him at his word - no pun intended.

Zero stared relentlessly into Kaname's eyes as he leaned forward, pushing himself deeper and deeper. Kaname was tight and dry, he knew it hurt the pureblood and for a very, very dark moment that he'd not encountered before, Zero actually felt glad that it caused Kaname pain. He _wanted _Kaname to feel pain.

_Dear God, it hurt._

Kaname's teeth sank into his lower lip until it bled but he stubbornly kept silent. He would _not _push Zero away, not now – not even if it hurt like the blazes... And it did. No, Kaname would not push the hunter away or even stop him even though he was feeling vulnerable, uncharacteristically out of control and almost... violated. Kaname swallowed convulsively, his back arching in response to the sharp, tearing pain he felt, as Zero thrust forward again and again, seating himself deeper and deeper inside him each time.

Kaname's teeth clenched hard. Not even though it was feeling like - like Zero was... _No_. The pureblood stopped himself from completing that thought. Because it wasn't. It wasn't. Because this wasn't just anyone else taking him, this was Zero… so it was OK. No matter what Zero did to him. Short of actually trying to kill him, that is... Kaname vowed silently that he would _not _resist and he would _not _stop Zero from having his way with him. The pureblood shifted his hips beneath Zero's, trying to make it a little more comfortable for himself but the smell of his own blood on his lower lip where he had bitten it earlier took Zero's lust up a notch, and the hunter reared back, kneeling on the bed, his hands clamping tightly onto Kaname's hips, fingers digging into soft skin to hold him still.

A part of Zero knew what was happening – he was taking Kaname too hard, too fast, he hadn't used lube or anything to prepare him. And he couldn't help but hear the small stifled sounds Kaname made as he gritted his teeth against the tearing pain, his unprepped body screaming in agony. Zero hated Kaname for making him do this, for making him act like this. And correspondingly, his movements became more urgent, more frantic, more violent. Perspiration started to gleam on Zero's skin as he exerted himself, making each thrust brutally hard. The pain caused Kaname's hands to clench the sheets in tight fists, tearing the silk material as he hung on grimly to his resolve. He would have preferred to hold Zero while they did this... but the hunter was kneeling, and too far away from him.

By right, Kaname's pureblood body could heal quickly, almost instantly... but as Zero kept thrusting into him relentlessly, again and again, the pureblood's healing power could hardly keep up with the ruthlessly rapid and merciless pace Zero was setting. Kaname was now bleeding and it helped to ease the friction of their joining a little. He even found it... stimulating... knowing that there was nothing he could do now, knowing that it was Zero and not someone else possessing him so completely, so ruthlessly. Simultaneous bursts of pain and pleasure flared up in Kaname again and again, making him gasp and moan with pain and pleasure combined together. His head tipped back and he swallowed a groan as Zero's movements became even fiercer, more frantic, doggedly driving himself hard towards his own completion, deliberately ignoring Kaname's pained discomfort and the small, muffled sounds that escaped his lips despite his resolve.

And finally, it was over – Zero's frantic movements had tumbled him over the edge and he cried out at the violent shudders of release that clawed through his body and ripped all thoughts from his mind. He deliberately lost himself in that, hips still slamming hard into Kaname, body shuddering violently.

At length, Zero fell forward and collapsed against Kaname, letting his head rest on his lover's chest. He felt exhausted. Spent. Small shivers were wracking his body as it slowly cooled and his breath slowed down. At the same time, bitter disgust uncoiled in the hunter's heart, spreading a blanket of dark guilt. Zero squeezed his eyes shut. He hated himself. What he just did – was unforgivable. Kaname had taken him hard on occasions too, and there was no denying it had hurt – Zero had definitely screamed with pain but the pureblood had always given back as much as he took. Sometimes, even more.

This time, Zero had taken and taken hard... and left Kaname with nothing. Nothing but pain and what just had to be regret at his rash decision of wanting Zero to claim him. And to Zero's amazement, instead of pushing him away, instead of hitting or killing him like he had every right to, Kaname had just _accepted _it all without protest or resistance. Even now, the pureblood's arms were wrapped tightly around his back, his legs curling around his thighs, offering silent comfort to his violator. For what? For hurting him like that?

Dear God, he - he'd practically _raped_ Kaname... Zero thought with a painful jolt of guilt that lanced through him and made his face flame with guilt even as his body continued to cool down. Kaname was a _pureblood_, no one landed a blow on him unless they no longer wished to live. Zero had been worse - he'd violated him. Even if he hated Kaname... and he didn't... he didn't have to hurt him like that. Why did he do it? Damnit, why did they just hurt each other more and more each time?

Kaname held Zero close to him. He could sense the anger and pain in the hunter that had driven him to act this way and he didn't hold it against him. He'd all but encourage Zero to take him in the first place after all. And he knew the boy would be remorseful once he had cooled down. But Zero's pain hurt Kaname as well. The pureblood didn't want Zero's guilt or apologies, he just wanted his – his - Kaname took in a shuddering breath and tears stung his eyes. He tried to blink them away and his breath hitched. He wanted Zero to care for him. Was that really too much to ask? Was it? Why did it have to be Zero, the one person who would never care for him in return?

The sudden scent of salt brought Zero's head up sharply. His already aching, guilty and confused heart constricted sharply at the sight of tears sliding out from the outer corners of Kaname's eyes into his dark hair.

_Oh God - he'd actually made Kaname cry? But - but that was what he wanted, wasn't it? Wasn't it?_

The sudden, squeezing pain pang in Zero's heart made him gasp. "Ka-Kaname?" he breathed. "I – I didn't mean... I was – you just made me so-" he broke off and shuddered. Kaname shook his head slowly. "Don't say that," he said softly but Zero barely heard what he said. "I - I'm sorry, so sorry. God, you must hate me now," he said huskily, his heart constricting even more. A faint smile ghosted over Kaname's lips as he shook his head again, slowly. "If I do, Zero, then why am I holding you still? Why didn't I stop you earlier?"

That made Zero pause.

"Did you think I couldn't?" asked Kaname softly.

Zero swallowed. Yes, Kaname could have stopped him at any time. He could have stopped him single handedly – no, Kaname didn't even have to use his hands. No one bested the pureblood unless he himself wanted it to be like that.

"But why?" Zero whispered. Before Kaname could reply, the hunter added softly, "And I'm sorry, you didn't even – even-" he broke off, flushing despite himself. He had had his satisfaction but Kaname hadn't. The pureblood didn't say anything, he just looked back at him. Kaname's gaze was open and honest, perhaps even trusting. There was no mockery in the brown depths, no anger or hate. Just open and honest trust. Despite the confused swirl of emotions in him, that one look touched Zero's hurting heart deeply and a long moment of soft silence passed as they just looked at each other.

Slowly, Zero reached down to where their bodies were still intimately joined. Kaname's breath hitched in his throat as his lover's fingers curled around him. Zero's grip was firm and he moved slowly, purposefully, keeping his eyes on Kaname's face while slowly withdrawing from the hot and tight confines of the pureblood's body. But Kaname's legs tightened around him immediately, stopping the hunter's movements.

"No, Zero – don't" Kaname urged softly. "Don't leave me..." he whispered. Uncertain silver eyes looked down on him and Kaname smiled slowly, reassuringly. "I want you, Zero." _More than ever now... no matter what._

Even though Zero was the one technically taking Kaname, their expressions made it look like the other way around for Zero still looked uncertain and even a little fearful while Kaname exhibited his usual calm and assurance. After a moment, the hunter gave a little nod. His fist moved faster this time, and the look of sheer pleasure on Kaname's face as the dark eyes fluttered close made Zero harden again within the pureblood. Slowly, painstakingly, Zero made love to Kaname, moving his hips now with infinite care, wanting to see only pleasure and joy on the pureblood's face. The hunter knew he had caused his lover too much pain just now…

Kaname urged him on and tightened his arms once more around Zero as their movements becoming quicker, more frantic. Zero rocked hard against Kaname, the pureblood thrust back just as hard. Zero lowered his head, licking and nibbling at the pale skin on Kaname's sensitive neck, making the pureblood groan deep in his throat before his own mouth found Zero's neck in return. He used his lips and tongue with expert skill, eliciting equal groans of delight from Zero as their breathing turned ragged and their hearts pounded in unison.

There was no pain now and no fear, only a deep, deep desire to find satisfaction together and in each other's arms. Bodies glistening and slick with perspiration, their hips slammed together again and again as they urged each other on.

Zero thrust forward, hard. "Kaname, I – I can't-"

Kaname's hips arched upwards with equal fervour. "Zero…!"

Breathless words followed frantic action until Zero tensed up for a heart stoppingly delicious moment before tumbling over the edge again into blissful release, crying out Kaname's name again and again as his body shuddered hard, spilling his warmth into the pureblood. Kaname held him close as his own body tensed up then spammed with his own climax, Zero's frantic cries pushing him on and the pureblood cried out the hunter's name in return.

Again, in that heart stopping silence, something precious and fragile blossomed between them. They both felt it and they both feared it at the same time. But Zero lifted his head the same moment Kaname opened his eyes and they both saw it in each other's gazes, something that defied description. But something that could be so right, if only... if only...

If only they dared put a name to it. But they didn't.

Zero glanced away first. He withdrew from Kaname and collapsed beside him, his pounding heart slowing in the aftermath. Almost automatically, Kaname turned towards him, pulling the exhausted hunter against his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist.

They didn't say anything but no tears were shed this time. Kaname listened to Zero's breathing as he breathed in the hunter's scent deeply. Just being close to Zero like this and being able to touch him again brought a sense of peace to Kaname and he closed his eyes, exhausted. His own breathing was slowing down as well and within minutes, both of them had drifted off to sleep.

-- Chapter End --


	3. Chap 3: AU for Chap 19

**Author Notes:** The shocking, explosive and deliciously angsty Chapter Seventeen was one of the pivotal chapters of Blood Moon _–grins-_ I remember reading that chapter as soon as I got to the office and spending the rest of the day in a daze, unable to even think properly, let alone do actual work! LOL, I was in such agony waiting for them to make up!

This AU chapter was inspired by the tempting hints Vani dropped in our subsequent conversations and in her review replies about Kaname going to look for Zero in the pouring rain. I was so hoping for both of them to make up completely when they met and of course, confess their feelings to each other! Well, I didn't know that the river would eventually burst its banks so this AU scene is just my interpretation, and nowhere near as wonderful as the eventual Chapter Nineteen, of course! I added an ending since the original AU chapter I sent to Vani didn't have one. Hope you all enjoy it!

**Summary:** Kaname goes looking for Zero after that fateful library scene and both boys meet up at the river.

-- Chapter Start --

Zero was somewhere near here, Kaname was sure this time. The echo of sadness in their bond was stronger. Even though it was hardly a positive emotion, it gave the beleaguered pureblood hope - it meant that Zero was still alive. Otherwise… Kaname repressed a shiver, knowing his very world would end if that happened.

Stopping the car by the side of the road, Kaname ran the rest of the way in the rain, up the slope, surefooted as ever even though the ground was treacherously slippery and wet. His heart was pounding again, more at the thought of seeing Zero soon rather than his current exertion. The sound of rushing water grew louder the higher he got and he realised he was actually nearing the river. When Kaname finally climbed high enough, Zero was standing at the edge of a deep cliff and looking down at what could only be the river. The pureblood's heart almost stopped. It looked like he had come just in time to save Zero from trying to commit suicide again and Kaname's blood ran cold, his heart going into overdrive.

"Zero! No, don't jump! Please...!" His voice was a cry of fear.

Zero started and swung around. Apparently, he hadn't sensed Kaname coming at all. Involuntarily, he took a step backwards, closer to the edge and Kaname's heart leapt into his throat.

"No, please don't..." Kaname's voice was a broken whisper. He desperately wanted to rush Zero. The boy was only about ten feet away - using his vampire speed, he was sure he could reach Zero and pull him back to safety. But he couldn't. It would only drive Zero further away. It took all he had for Kaname to stay put, to not move a muscle when everything inside him was screaming for action, for saving the one he loved. Yes - the one he loved. He did love Zero, didn't he? Why else would he be here, knowing that nothing was more important than getting the hunter to go back with him again? At the cost of his pride, his image, and his heart. Nothing mattered more than Zero. Nothing.

The weary silver eyes were locked onto Kaname's face, reading every expression that flitted across it. Then Zero shook his head and took a step towards him, away from the river. Kaname didn't say anything but his breathing slowly became just a little bit easier, a little less painful.

Zero gave a quiet, resigned sigh. "I won't. I wish I could, God knows I want to... but in the end, I can't do it." His quiet voice held a note of quivering despair and it stabbed another white hot knife of pain into Kaname's heart. He swallowed. "Why not, Zero?"

Zero broke eye contact with him, glancing around them as he uttered a mirthless laugh. "Because it would kill you, wouldn't it? I'm such an idiot for not being able to hurt you. No matter what you do to me, I just - I just can't do it."

His words drifted off into the silence between them, with just the pattering of the never ending rain and rushing water filling it. Then Kaname spoke. "Zero? I need to say something. Promise me that you won't run away, that you'll hear me out first. OK?"

Zero looked at him warily before he gave a brief nod. Kaname took that as a positive sign. Throwing his pride aside, the pureblood suddenly but gracefully dropped to his knees in front of the startled ex-human.

"Zero, I'm sorry for what I said and what I did back at the library. You don't know, you can't know how sorry I am, how much I hate myself now. Please, please say you'll come back with me. You can say you hate me, or hit me, whatever, but please... I - I can't live without you."

Zero stared at him, stunned into silence. He had fully expected that he would be the one to crawl back, to apologise and perhaps even begged to be forgiven and taken back. But no, it looked like the pureblood had beaten him to it. "Kaname...?" he said uncertainly.

The pureblood's dark eyes, so frightening earlier when filled with cold rage were now anguished and remorseful. "I said and did some terrible things to you," he murmured. A shiver ran through him again as he remembered the tears he had forced the hunter to shed. Remembering the kisses and bites he had forced upon Zero. And that unforgivable act of bending his will upon him just to get that apology he _thought_ he needed.

"I know you didn't deserve it despite what you said to me, but I hope you'll forgive me one day. Or even if you don't, you'll come back with me. Zero..." Kaname shuddered. "I – I can't live without you, I don't want to. It – it's not just the bond we have, I can't bear having you apart from me. Not knowing where you are, how you are doing, just knowing that you hate me. That alone would kill me."

Kaname's expressions and words were as rawly honest as Zero had ever seen and heard them and his own breath caught in his throat in wonder. He was prepared to overlook what Kaname has said and done, after all, he knew he had said some pretty cruel things to the pureblood too, and in public – worse, in front of the nobles who looked up to him. But Zero hadn't expected this. No, not even after Kaname had come looking for him and found him feeding from Takuma.

But Kaname hadn't said anything about the binding. That was the only thing holding Zero back now, from wanting to run into his lover's arms that he knew were waiting for him now. "Kaname" he said huskily. "What – what about wanting to – to bind me?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.

The pureblood shook his head. "No, I never wanted to..." Again, his face showed shock. "How did you...?" Then something clicked in his mind and Kaname was stunned. He was asking Aido about it earlier, in the library, about how far the blond had gotten on with his research. But they had stopped when Zero came in and knocked into the librarian. So he couldn't have heard them. But what if Zero wasn't just coming into the library? What if he had been there all along?

Zero saw the damning conclusion in Kaname's face and nodded soberly. "I left my notes in the library and used a muffling charm. I just wanted to see if I could trick Aido and the others into not knowing I was there. At first, I didn't know you were there as well, and then..." Zero's heart squeezed tight as he heard again the horrifying words echoing in his mind. He shook his head. "At first, what you two said didn't even register but when you said 'ex-human', I stopped to listen. Then you said..." Zero's voice cracked and he squeezed his eyes shut in pain. "... you said 'hunter'," he gasped out, experiencing again that awful sinking feeling he felt as his entire world come crashing down with that one word. "You were asking Aido how to bind me to you, weren't you?" Zero's voice was too quiet, too empty to even sound accusing, but Kaname's eyes dropped.

"Yes" he said quietly. It was too late to deny anything but at least now he knew why Zero had suddenly gone berserk like that... why he had looked at him like he truly was a monster. And he – God help him - he had taken it wrongly and blown up at him, saying and doing all those cruel things. It was no wonder Zero had struggled as he did. Kaname's face flushed with shame even as his eyes burned with tears. He didn't bother to hide them as they spilled over his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Zero had seen him cry before, hadn't he? And anyway, Kaname's pureblood pride mattered nothing. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry," Kaname said softly again even though it was far too late for apologies. "I never meant for you to hear that."

Zero took a step closer. "Why, Kaname? Why would you want to bind me?" he asked, his voice shaking with pain. "I thought what we had... I – I was... happy..."

Kaname nodded fervently. "I wanted you to be happy, Zero. That was all I ever wanted, for you to be happy" _With me..._

Zero was staring at him as if he desperately wanted to believe Kaname's words. But all the horror of being bound to another, against his will, came pouring out. "Then why? You knew I hated it. I saw what that bastard Seiji had done to those ex-humans. You knew how I felt even then!" Zero couldn't stop the shudder of revulsion that coursed through him. "To lose your own free will, to lose everything, to be nothing more than a – a pet or a toy... " Zero shuddered again, his eyes dark with pain. "Is that – is that what you think of me? he choked out.

Immediately, Kaname shook his head. "No, Zero. No!"

But Zero plowed on. "Kaname, you lost your freedom once, remember? When you offered your body to Rido to save Yuki and me? You told me you could imagine nothing worse. How – how could you even _think_ of doing that to me? What have I ever done to deserve that? I know I tried to kill myself before but now I can't. Because of what it would do to you!"

Zero's voice cracked with unbearable pain. "_Why_, Kaname? Why did you think you had to bind me? Was it – was it because of that hunter charm I pulled on you?" The ex-human took a step closer to Kaname, his voice shaking. "You said I could use anything I had at my disposal, and that – that was just sparring! You know I would never hurt you for real"

Here, Zero stumbled to a stop, stunned. Perhaps that was it... "Kaname, didn't you know that?" he whispered. "Don't you trust me?"

Kaname didn't know how to answer Zero as he stared at him. His heart was pounding in his chest and in his ears and the pureblood flushed with shame. Yes, Zero was right. Kaname had wanted to believe that Zero wouldn't ever harm him. But he hadn't had the courage nor the conviction to believe that. How could he? He had lived his whole life being wary of just such a thing. The only person he trusted implicitly was Yuki and she was gone now. Vampires turned against each other. Even purebloods, what more an ex-human who didn't even want to be bonded to him in the first place?

"Zero..." Kaname's voice was a soft plea. "Perhaps... perhaps I should have trusted you more, but the truth was, I – I just couldn't stand to see you so unhappy, with what you've lost. That time, in my room, after you removed the charm, I saw your pain when you spoke of Yuki." Kaname had to swallow hard before he could continue. "I swear, I only wanted to see you happy."

Zero gave him a disbelieving look and Kaname hurried on. "But when I asked Aido to research the binding process for me, I still hadn't quite decided whether it was what I wanted or not. Aido stayed back in the library after that , you know. I told the others to get out after Takuma and Shiki had left to go look for you." Zero's silver eyes widened at that but he didn't say anything and Kaname continued, "But Aido stayed." A faint smile touched his lips. "I think he wanted to defend you and that was when he asked me a very important question – whether I really, really wanted to bind you or not."

Kaname paused, trying to slow down his pounding heart. He looked straight into Zero's eyes. "Zero, my answer is 'No'. No, I can't and I won't bind you. Because it wouldn't even be you anymore and that's not what I want. You would be happy then and I would treat you well, but it wouldn't be _you_. You would never get angry with me, or argue about whatever I said. You would never tell me off if I said or did something wrong because in your eyes, whatever I said or did could only be right. I don't want that, I have enough people who agree with everything I say, who would never oppose anything I did. That's _not _what I want from you."

Zero nodded and inhaled shakily. "So... what do you want from me, Kaname?" he asked softly, his heart beating now with an unreasonable hope.

A very faint smile touched Kaname's lips. "I want you not to be afraid of me. I want you to go on telling me off if I've done something wrong, to pull me back when I'm out of line... even – even call me an idiot if I've been one." Kaname held Zero's gaze, compelling, raw and honest. "And I know I've been one, Zero. I've been a real, big idiot," he ended honestly.

Zero couldn't hold in the sob was fighting to get out of his chest nor the relieved tears spilling unchecked from his eyes. He took a step forward and finally dropped to his own knees in front of Kaname. "Yes, yes, you have" he agreed unsteadily. "Kaname, I - "

Zero couldn't continue, but he didn't have to. Because they were suddenly holding onto each other in an embrace tight enough to crack ribs, their chests heaving as they tried to contain the sobs that wanted to break free. It was enough for Zero to know that Kaname didn't want to bind him after all, that Kaname wanted him to remain himself, that he even liked his irritating, stubborn attitude and his refusal to treat the pureblood as the others did. Hot tears continued to spill down their cheeks and were washed away by the rain as thoroughly as their sobs washed away the bitter, painful sting of their earlier words and actions.

After a while, Kaname drew back slightly and cupped Zero's face in his shaking hands. "Will you please come back with me, Zero?" he whispered. "Please?"

Zero nodded at once, still sniffling a little. His hands moved up to cover the pureblood's and he looked directly into Kaname's hopeful eyes. "Yes, Kaname. Yes, I will." A hesitant smile trembled on his lips and Kaname smiled back, his eyes shining with pure relief and happiness as he pulled the hunter close again.

-- Chapter End --


	4. Chap 4: AU for Chap 22

**Author Notes:** This AU scene was written when I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel after Kaname and Zero were rescued from that raging river in Chapter Twenty One! Vani had hinted that while they wouldn't be admitting their love to each other so soon, they (or Kaname to start off with) would at least clear the air on several issues. Needless to say, I could not wait for the actual Chapter Twenty Two to come out, hence this AU scene was born! Had no clue about the lovely villa nor the soft Egyptian sheets though, but I love the actual Chapter Twenty Two! _-grins-_

**Summary:** After they have both recovered from the harrowing river experience, Kaname decides to finally let Zero know a few things…

-- Chapter Start --

"I want you to know how I feel, Zero," Kaname admitted huskily as he stood in front of the hunter and looked deep into his eyes. No more hiding behind walls now... no more stupid pride or believing in mistaken assumptions anymore. It wasn't fair to Zero and frankly, Kaname was sick and tired of all the hurt and inadvertent heartache he had caused them both. The pureblood realised that in trying to protect his heart all this while, he had only ended up hurting it even more, and Zero too.

The rawly honest look in Kaname's eyes and the way he was looking at him, as if nothing else mattered and nothing else existed caught at Zero's heartstrings. He couldn't have turned away from him at that moment even if he had wanted to. They were past the stage of wanting to hide their weakness or their dependence on each other now. They knew each other too well, they had seen both the best and worse the other had to offer. So Zero merely nodded.

"When I see you depressed, Zero... it makes me sad," Kaname began, his voice honest and earnest. "When I don't know where you are, it makes me worry. When I found out you were actually... suicidal... I – I was in despair," Kaname's voice showed the hopelessness he felt then, in hurting at his lover's unwillingness to go on living, to keep him company and to take his bitter loneliness away.

"When I realised - belatedly - that I had hurt you –" Kaname's voice cracked and he had to stop to swallow, his eyes filled with anguish at the memory. "Zero, I wanted to kill myself after that," he finished in a whisper. "You have no idea how much I hated myself then."

Zero shook his head, a sheen of tears filling his eyes. Kaname knew the instinctive comfort that the hunter was trying to convey to him and it forced from the pureblood the courage to continue saying what he wanted to.

"Zero, when you let me near you, it gives me hope. When you share your blood with me, like in my room after you removed that hunter charm, or by the river that time, it leaves me in awe, wondering what I had done to receive that amount of trust from you."

Zero was staring at him, stunned and hungrily drinking up each word as a small, wondering smile blossomed on his lips. Kaname saw that smile and it warmed his hurting, broken heart like nothing could.

"When you smile at me, Zero, I'm happy," Kaname finished simply. It was an admission really, of how much his happiness and state of mind, hell, _any part_ of him pretty much depended on the hunter, but Kaname didn't care anymore. He knew now that it was safe to confide in Zero, to lay his emotions bare to him, like how he had bared his own body for him so many times before.

"Just tell me what you want, that will make you happy, Zero. I swear, I will give it to you if it is in my power. Anything you want," Kaname promised truthfully. Then he bit his lip. "Well, not everything," he conceded reluctantly. "Don't – don't ask me to go on living without you," he voiced out his greatest fear. _That alone would kill me._

"What would make me happy, Kaname?" echoed Zero softly, more tears welling up in his eyes and spilling over. Could it really be that simple? He had to believe it could be...

"Letting me stay by your side... not as a binded ex-human slave, not as someone you have to tolerate because you share a blood bond with him, but as myself, and because you _want_ me to." Zero's gaze was direct, with no hesitation whatsoever. It almost sounded and looked like he was issuing a condition to the pureblood – _accept me as I am, Kaname, or not at all._

Zero's honest words pulled fiercely at Kaname's heartstrings and his eyes grew wet in response - the fierce ache in his hurting heart was just too much to keep inside.

"Are you sure?" he breathed, hardly daring to believe his lover's words. "Are you sure that that would make you happy, Zero?" he choked out.

Zero nodded. "That is all I ever wanted, you know."

A sob escaped Kaname's lips. Was it really that simple after all? Each of them thinking the other so cold, so uncaring when in actual fact... "Zero, that is what _I_ want, what I _need_ to make _me_ happy. I didn't realise -" For a moment, Kaname was unable to continue. Zero ached so much to take this hurting pureblood into his arms, but he had to be sure, because he had suffered so much himself and for so long. "I can't live without you. I don't want to, Kaname. I want to stay by your side, as your lover... and as your friend, if you'll let me."

_As your equal._

Zero didn't say those words out loud but Kaname read them in his eyes and he quickly reassured the hunter. "I want you to stay by my side, Zero. As my friend, as my lover... and as my equal."

Zero exhaled shakily. All this time of wishing, wanting and longing for this but never daring to hope... Kaname's eyes were bright with unshed tears but they finally spilled over when he entreated, "Zero, tell me that this would make you happy."

Zero choked back a sob. "Kaname, this would – this would..." he couldn't finish his sentence. "Thank you," he whispered as he stepped forward, reaching out to pull the pureblood into his arms.

_Thank you? Thank you for making my own wishes come true?_ Kaname shook his head in disbelief even as his own arms came up to curl tightly around the hunter, pressing close to him. "No, Zero. Thank _you_."

They clung to each other, sobbing quietly. Just being with each other, just staying by each other's side was all they ever wanted, only they had been too blind to see how much the other wanted it too. Both of them had stumbled around in the dark, unknowingly hurting the other as they tried to protect their heart, not realising it was already too late, that they were already bound to each other, body, heart and soul... as friends, lovers and equals.

Forever.

-- Chapter End --


	5. Chap 5: AU for Chap 25

**Author Notes:** Another AU scene! When Vani mentioned that the nobles would be visiting Kaname and Zero at their lovely villa, I couldn't help wondering if there would be another angsty scene, courtesy of that devastating Chapter 17 aka the 'Moon Dorm library scene'. After writing this AU scene, I found that there wasn't one, after all - phew! LOL _–shakes head at herself- _Oh, and it turned out that Zero was the one who went to get the drinks for the nobles but here, it's Kaname!

Oh dear, after reading this chapter again, I realise it has certain similarities to my WCAB Ch14! _-giggles embarrassedly-_

**Summary:** Takuma, Kain, Aido and Ruka come to visit Kaname and Zero at their villa. All seems well and the nobles are relieved to see that the pureblood and hunter are happy with each other. But when Aido accidentally says something, Kaname realises that Zero is still hurting inside.

-- Chapter End --

Kaname waited until everyone had stepped into the spacious living area before he gestured gracefully towards three comfortably cushioned two-seaters that were facing a wide TV screen. In between the centre couch and the TV was a low walnut coffee table, contrasting nicely with the cream coloured cushions of the chairs. All the vampires' eyes were wide as they looked around, taking in the light and comfortable surroundings.

"Make yourselves comfortable," Kaname invited graciously with a smile. Seiren wasn't around so he stepped towards the archway that led to the inside of the villa. "I'll go get drinks for you all," he threw casually over his shoulder and disappeared.

The remaining five vampires seated themselves, Zero a little awkwardly. Kain and Ruka were sitting next to each other on one of the couches, Aido with Takuma on another. The Assistant Dorm Leader guessed from the quick glances the hunter gave the doorway where Kaname had disappeared through, that he was wishing he had gone to get the drinks instead.

"Hey, Zero," Takuma said softly. "I'm glad both of you are all right..." Zero inclined his head, then included the others in his gaze. "Thank you. Kaname told me how you all saved us from the river, and how you took care of him." Zero looked at Takuma again as he finished since the last bit was meant for the blond noble, who nodded and merely smiled.

Zero then looked at Aido. He hadn't wanted to meet the blond's gaze directly just now but he forced himself to. "Aido" Zero said quietly. "Thank you, you saved my life that day with your powers." From what Kaname had said, the young noble had also exhausted himself then – constantly keeping Zero's body temperature at a precise and constant level was extremely draining, even for a noble.

Aido had somehow also avoided looking at Zero directly earlier but he did so now as well. "You're welcome," he replied, a pink flush of pleasure appearing in his cheeks. It was the second time Zero had specifically thanked him – the first was during one of their meetings in the Moon Dorm library and it had been decidedly vague. This was more specific and more heartfelt. Despite himself, and despite who it was coming from, Aido was touched.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Zero was just about to ask them if they wanted to watch some TV while they waited for Kaname to return when Kain eyed his younger cousin's slightly flushed face and gave a chuckle. "Aido also stayed by your bedside the most while you were unconscious in the hospital, Zero. After a while, the nurse was convinced he wanted to give you a sponge bath from the way he was constantly hovering around you!"

Kain only meant it as a way to break the ice but he really couldn't help teasing his cousin and the impulsive blond scowled right on cue. "I was not!" he protested immediately, the pink in his cheeks more pronounced now. Kain merely winked at Ruka beside him then grinned back at his cousin. "No? Then what was all that kissing at the river bank for, huh?"

Aido sputtered furiously, Kain's words having upped his flush a notch. Zero turned pink as well. _Crap_. He should've known Kain wouldn't pass up a chance like this, particularly as Aido reacted so well to his cousin's jibes. Aido glanced at Zero who was watching him stoically even though the hunter's face was also decidedly rosy. The incensed noble then sent a glare at both his cousin and Ruka who were clearly enjoying both his and the hunter's reactions, and the room temperature dropped a few degrees. "I wasn't the only one who gave Zero CPR - Takuma did as well, you know!" Aido threw back hotly at them.

To his credit, Takuma appeared supremely unconcerned and he merely shrugged. "So I did," he agreed mildly but Zero's eyebrows rose at this disclosure. So both Aido and Takuma had given him CPR then? Geez...

"Uh, thank you," Zero mumbled to Takuma, who smiled back and nodded. "You're welcome, Zero. I can see that you and Kaname are much happier now," he remarked quietly, diplomatically changing the subject. "I'm glad, for both your sakes."

Zero gave a rather self-conscious nod. It still embarrassed him whenever anyone mentioned his relationship with the pureblood but there was no mistaking the sincerity in Takuma's green eyes. "Yeah," Zero returned softly. "I – I never got to say thanks for – you know, that day…" He meant the time when Takuma offered him his blood in the rain after he had bolted from the library. But somehow, the blond noble caught his meaning and merely nodded again, his eyes warm.

Aido was still somewhat flustered over their earlier exchange and he carefully avoided his cousin's knowing grin. The young noble suddenly sensed Kaname's presence at the doorway. Embarrassed at the possibility of his pureblood leader hearing that he'd kis – given CPR to his lover, Aido blabbed out the first thing he could think of. "It's so great to see you so happy, Kaname-sama!" he chirped, a little too brightly. "Kiriyu too. Such a contrast to what happened earlier that day in the library, remember?"

Too late, Aido realised his horrible mistake. Everyone in the room had frozen and the resulting silence could be cut with a knife. Kain's grin had disappeared and he was looking at his younger cousin with that 'I can't believe you just _said _that!' look he reserved specially for Aido whenever the impulsive blond said something without thinking it through first. Ruka was glaring daggers at him. Even Takuma was looking at him with green eyes wide with surprise and concern. Kaname had frozen just inside the doorway, his face suddenly pale.

_Oh God_... Aido had not meant that the way it sounded, he just wanted to say that how they looked now was so different from that day, that was all! Flushing deeply, his insides twisting hot and cold with guilt and justified fear, Aido swung from Kaname to Zero. The hunter was looking even paler than the pureblood was. Aido's words had just flashed him back to that awful, awful moment in the Moon Dorm Library when Kaname had lost himself.

Zero hadn't really thought of that moment since he had woken up a week ago and heard Kaname's sincere apology. But for some reason, all of what he had felt then, the utter hurt and worthlessness, the loneliness and the stinging pain of shame all combined and surged up into his conscious mind. Perhaps it was because most of the small group of nobles who had witnessed Kaname's anger at him that day were here now. Perhaps it was because apart from meeting Takuma and Shiki when the tall noble had given him his blood, Zero hadn't really seen the others after he had run away. He hadn't even seen them pull him out of the river – he was unconscious then.

His senses reeling, Zero got unsteadily to his feet. The room was spinning... and he suddenly felt like he was back at the Moon Dorm library again, cowering under Kaname's wrath, feeling worthless and helpless all over again. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Degraded.

"Zero!"

The hunter turned instinctively at the sound of that beloved voice and saw that Kaname's eyes were filled with horror and guilt. Unfortunately, the guilt only served to reinforce the point that yes, that scene in the library had indeed happened. It wasn't just a nightmare, it _had _happened. And the frighteningly cold and ruthless pureblood who had thrown him into one of the bookshelves, who had bitten him so viciously, who had hurt him and thrown him down onto his knees _had _been Kaname. That dark, dark side of his personality was contained in the gentle, tender, sensual lover and friend he had been to Zero these past few days.

Zero's hands came up to clutch at his head. He – he couldn't handle this, not when the same bunch of nobles were here again, looking at him and relieving again those helpless moments together with him. They would never forget that scene, they would never forget the fact that they had unwittingly witnessed his utter humiliation. How could Zero blame them when he was feeling the same way himself?

Zero stood up, looking wildly around. He wanted to escape but the shortest path to his rooms was blocked by Kaname. "Zero," began the pureblood, his hand reaching out.

_No_. Not now, not in front of all of them...

Zero whirled around and ran out of the front door instead, heading for the side door around the corner that also led indirectly to his rooms. He had to get away. Away from Kaname. Away from all of them so that he could deal with the shame and the hurt on his own. And the nagging shadow of a doubt that it could still happen to him again one day.

- o -

A few minutes later, Kaname found Zero sitting on the window seat of his study room. The hunter had propped one bare foot up and was staring at the serene garden outside, even though it was already night.

Kaname's heart ached at the lonely picture his lover made, his clenched jaw and hunched shoulders telling him all too clearly of his current miserable state. "Zero," he called out softly at the door, unwilling to step into the room without his lover's express permission. He had told Zero that this was his set of rooms, his own space and he wanted the hunter to know that he meant what he said.

Zero half glanced over this shoulder at Kaname and he gave a half nod but didn't look directly at him. Then the hunter turned back to gaze unseeingly out the window again, his shoulders and back still tense.

Well... it was not so much an invitation as an acknowledgement but Kaname took a cautious step into the room, anyway. He opened his mouth to speak but Zero beat him to it. "Don't - don't hurt Aido, Kaname... please," he murmured.

Kaname blinked. Then he gasped softly – that one sentence sent twin blades of pain straight into his heart. The first was caused by the simple evidence that once again, no matter what the situation, no matter how hurt he was feeling, Zero had put someone else's feelings and well being above his own. So typical of the hunter, so endearingly typical of him.

But to Kaname, that just made the pain even worse.

The second was that Zero still thought Kaname capable of letting his own hurt override his innate capacity for fairness, justice and honesty. That he believed that because Aido had foolishly brought up a time when Kaname had shown everyone his rage and temporary slide into darkness that portrayed him in a less than positive side, the pureblood would have no qualms in punishing the impulsive blond for his mistake. The pain that shot into Kaname's heart at that realisation burned even more.

"Zero," Kaname began, all too conscious of his breaking heart as well as the raw anguish he could sense rolling off the boy in front of him. Kaname didn't know what to say. The contentment and happiness that he and Zero had felt in the past week or so, when he believed that he had succeeded in healing the hunter's feelings of worthlessness had been proven to be false. Kaname hadn't succeeded. He hadn't fully healed the festering wounds inside the hunter. So even if Zero now knew the pureblood was sincere in caring for him, in treasuring his heart and in trusting him, he was still hurt over how Kaname had blown up at him that day... and not only shamed him in front of the others, but imposed his will on him as well.

Faced with this realisation, Kaname could have cried. He had been so sure he had taken care of that particular wound, that of Zero's sense of worthlessness, with tender and loving care and it had looked like it had healed beautifully too. There had been no indication at all in the past week that the hunter still feared him in any way. But he was wrong. There was still a thread of infection deep below the well healed cut. Otherwise, Zero would've just shrugged off Aido's reference to that time.

Kaname swallowed. So despite everything, what he had done that day was still unforgivable. "Zero," he said, his voice was soft, hesitant. "I - I didn't hurt Aido. How could I? He'd said nothing but the truth." _How could you believe that I would punish someone just for telling the truth?_

Zero turned to look at him. The faint look of wary distrust in those dear silvery amethyst eyes cut Kaname to the quick and his heart reeled in pain again. It was the last thing he wanted to see. But it was the truth, wasn't it?

"But you still think me capable of it," Kaname whispered, stunned at the realisation that no matter what he did, no matter what he said, Zero would still think him capable of such cruelty. It hurt more than Kaname ever thought possible. He - he didn't care if others thought it possible of him, as long as Zero didn't. As long as Zero didn't hate him, or fear him.

But Zero didn't hate him. Kaname could feel the certainty of it in their bond.

"Kaname," Zero murmured, tears filling his eyes. Yes, the pureblood had hurt him that time. Badly. Physically, mentally and emotionally. But he knew now Kaname hadn't meant to. They had both been so angry and confused at that time, they had both misjudged the situation. They had both said hurtful, horrible, cruel things. Done cruel things as well. And Zero didn't want Kaname to take all the blame upon himself. It just wasn't fair.

But the pain inside him was startling in its intensity, perhaps more so because of the happiness of this past week. This past week had been beautiful. Special. It had seemed so unreal to Zero in the sense he was almost sure that somehow, it wouldn't last. But still, the library scene hadn't been unreal. That time had been all too real. A single tear spilled out and trickled down Zero's cheek, then another. The hunter shuddered softly, trying to hold in his sobs, but he couldn't.

"Zero," Kaname's voice shook. The next moment, he was next to Zero, sinking down onto the window seat and gathering up the hunter in his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Kaname whispered again and again, his lips pressed to the silver hair. The hunter's body was shaking in his arms. Yes, the wound had torn wide open again. But perhaps, this was needed, so that whatever deep seated infection could finally be cleansed away. Only that way, could it heal properly.

Zero pressed his face into Kaname's shoulder, his arms coming around his back to hold him tightly. That made the pureblood realise that Zero wasn't actually afraid of him. The hunter was still hurt by what had happened that day, but he wasn't afraid of him. Despite himself, Kaname trembled with the immense relief that flooded his heart. Zero wasn't afraid of him… so perhaps one day, Zero would truly forgive him for hurting him so badly... Kaname's heart leapt with hope.

"Zero," he whispered. "Please, I'll do anything. Just tell me how I can redeem myself for what I did that day. I'll do anything, you know I would. Please, just tell me..."

Zero shook his head, his face still buried in Kaname's shoulder, his hot tears soaking the other's shirt. "You don't have to do anything, Kaname," he sobbed. "You've already redeemed yourself over and over again." It was true. Kaname had treated him so preciously, so beautifully this past week - how could Zero doubt his sincerity? How could Zero doubt him at all when the very room he was in, was ample proof of the pureblood's generosity and care? The hunter hated himself for causing Kaname pain but he also couldn't stop the hurt he felt when Aido's words reminded him of those hopeless, frightening moments - moments when he really thought that Kaname would just strip off whatever he had left of his tattered pride and dignity and use him in a way that might have even killed him with shame.

Kaname's breath caught again as his own eyes burned with tears of regret. How he wished he could go back in time and erase that entire episode and wash it from Zero's mind and everyone else's. But he couldn't. All he could do was remind himself everyday to love and cherish this boy for the rest of his life, who was his only reason for living now.

"Can you ever forgive me, Zero?" Kaname asked softly, still rocking the hunter gently in his arms. "Can you believe me when I say that I would never ever do anything like that to you again?"

"Y-yes," Zero nodded his head emphatically, his face still hidden. Then he pulled in a shuddering breath and looked up. Kaname's hands slipped off Zero's back and he used this thumbs to gently wipe at the moisture on his lover's cheeks, his heart still aching in his chest. Zero's hand came up, gently cupping Kaname's cheek in return and instinctively, the pureblood nuzzled into that hand. How could Zero still care for him like this?

"I believe you, Kaname," Zero whispered. "I trust you."

Those whispered and shaky words were beautiful to Kaname and weak tears finally had their way, sliding down his cheeks at the still hurting but honest look from those beloved eyes. The pureblood had now cried more times than he cared to count but as long as only Zero witnessed his tears, he wouldn't care. He would let only one person see him like this, he would let only one person love him like this.

"Believe me," Kaname whispered as he pulled the hunter close again. "Believe me, Zero." _I would give my life for you._

Kaname didn't say those words aloud but perhaps Zero heard the faint echo of them in their bond because he nodded again. _I do, Kaname. And I would give my life for you, too._

-- Chapter End --


	6. Chap 6: AU for Chap 28

**Author Notes:** This is the last AU scene for Blood Moon so that means this fic is now complete! _-breaks out the champagne-_

I had to write this scene after Yagari found out about Kaname and Zero's relationship through that idiot Seiji in Blood Moon Chapter 27. Of course, it was a completely skewed version Yagari heard but I remember thinking how much I wanted for Yagari to go and confront Kaname - not to get himself killed but just so that the pureblood could set things straight on how he and his beloved hunter actually cared for each other. I wanted Yagari to go on teaching Zero everything he knew, I wanted Zero to have his sensei's respect and love and I wanted the master hunter to understand and accept, if not support, the special relationship between Kaname and his student... LOL, do I sound like Kaname or what! Well, it's there in my review :D

I edited the beginning of this scene since it started rather abruptly but that's about it. Of course, it isn't anything like the awesome one that Blackened Wing finally unleashed upon us in Chapter 30 but I'm thrilled that it had a hand (however small) in inspiring that greatness! _–smiles happily-_ The paragraph where Kaname openly and sincerely declared his love and his intentions for Zero to Yagari while in that horribly weakened and vulnerable state is one of my absolute favourites in Blood Moon! _–feels the urge to read it again for the millionth time- _Oh, and I brought up the 'L' word again. Sorry - just couldn't help it! _-smiles-_

**Summary:** A furious Yagari drags Zero along to confront Kaname after Seiji informs him about the pureblood bedding the hunter.

-- Chapter Start --

Kaname massaged his neck almost absentmindedly, frowning. His bond was telling him that something was wrong with Zero. The hunter's disturbed emotions were filtering through to him. It was morning and Kaname should be getting ready for bed but he would go seek out Zero first, once his lessons with Yagari were over. Suddenly, the pureblood tensed, his eyes snapping to the door. He could hear footsteps approaching his room rapidly.

At first, Kaname's eyes lit up - perhaps Zero had come here to chew him out for marking his neck here Yagari could see it? Then he realised that there were two sets of footsteps and both presences were hunters. One was Zero and the other, Yagari. Why would the master hunter be coming up here to see him?

In the next second, the door of his bedroom was thrown open with stunning force. Touga Yagari stood there, his blue eye blazing, one hand clamped tightly around Zero's upper arm. The younger hunter had his head down and was looking at the carpet.

"What's up?" Kaname asked quietly. Yagari looking at him with barely concealed dislike was nothing new and it didn't bother him. But to have the master hunter look at him like he was the lowest being on earth, like he had done something so wrong, nothing could ever redeem him again...

Kaname turned to the younger hunter. "Zero?" his voice was soft but a tinge of his confusion filtered through. "What's all this about?" _Look at me..._

And Zero finally did. The look of confused hurt in his eyes and the shamed flush on his cheeks told volumes. And even before he heard the mumbled, halting words, Kaname knew... that Yagari knew.

"He – he saw your bites... on my neck," mumbled Zero, his eyes darting away again. Oh, he loved getting Kaname's love bites even if he hated the timing, and he had marked the pureblood as well but that was different – Kaname always healed so damn quickly. Not him... "And then Seiji said -" Zero broke off, swallowed and looked away again.

A low snarl issued from Yagari and his hand tightened on Zero's arm. "It's not enough that you take his blood and use him as your punching bag, you had to - to -" The words faltered and Yagari's chest heaved – he couldn't seem able to finish his own sentence. Despite the fierce anger, there was raw, genuine pain in that strident voice, and Kaname heard it. He was furious at Yagari because of how Zero was acting now, like he had just had the razzing of his life from his own sensei. Kaname knew Yagari had always hated vampires – it didn't take a genius to figure out the gist of what Zero's sensei must have said to him earlier, and how it might have prodded painfully at very recently healed wounds.

But Yagari wasn't done speaking. "You like to show the world Zero has your sponsorship and support but you're just using him, aren't you? Punching him around and screwing him in bed! You tell me, vampire, you tell me what you're going to do once you tire of him – are you going to sell him to the highest bidder or you just going to kill him?"

Yagari paused, almost choking on his rage. Almost of his own volition, his hand whipped to his shotgun again. In the blink of an eye, it was out of its holster and confidently held in his steady grasp. He wouldn't let it go. Not this time. He would save Zero from his own folly, even if the boy didn't want him to.

Zero's eyes widened immediately. "No, master, no!" he protested. Automatically, he twisted out of his teacher's grasp and stepped around in front of him, arms flung wide to protect the pureblood in the room.

Yagari's single eye was ruthless. "Move aside, Zero! You said you were willing but – " the low, gravelly voice sounded almost choked. Yagari inhaled sharply, biting out the rest of the words through clenched teeth. "You tell me this - how can he possibly care for you when you've always been the one screwed, when you've always been his bitch?!"

Angry tears blurred Zero's vision and he roughly palmed them away. Not for himself this time, but for Kaname. The unfairness of it stung him badly even though there was a time when he had thought the very same thing. Back when they were both floundering around in the dark, lashing out blindly at each other, terrified of being rejected, too scared to even hope.

But not now.

They weren't just a pureblood and a Level D. They were lovers and equals. Kaname had said that and Zero trusted him, with his heart and with his life.

Taking a deep breath, Zero held his master's blazing gaze steadily even as his face burned with embarrassment. "No, master," he said again, his voice softer, begging for understanding, for acceptance. Zero threw a slight glance over his shoulder, as if begging for Kaname to understand what he was about to reveal. "I – I was not always the one scr – taken."

Zero was embarrassed as hell at admitting this and his words were soft but there was no mistaking the sincerity in those beseeching silvery amethyst eyes. Eyes that were so familiar to Yagari. The older hunter sighed. "Do you think me a fool, Zero?" his voice was softer as well but sad and filled with despair.

_Have I taught you nothing? _

"He's a vampire, Zero! Granted, you are one too, but he's a pureblood! He would _never_ let you screw him, it always _has_ to be the other way, they _always_ want to control others." _How can I bear to see you under his spell anymore? That he's got you so lost you think he's good even when he's just using you?_

There was a moment of utter silence – Zero didn't know what else to say but stare at his master, knowing that they were once again on opposite sides here. There was a gap between them now, a gulf so wide that it seemed impossible to cross.

What else could Zero say to make his teacher understand? That he wasn't with Kaname just because he had to, but because he wanted to? That the Kaname he knew was one who would rescue three children he didn't know, would expend his own powers and risk his own life to move heaven and hell... just to keep a safe a group of townspeople? That _this_ pureblood didn't want to bind him, that he wanted Zero at his side and had given him not only his life back but a future that at long last, held happiness, respect, promise and fulfillment for him? That Zero cared so much for Kaname, he felt he could die for him, die a thousand times knowing it would never be enough because he loved him? God help him, he did...

Zero turned around, blinking his tears away as he faced the one person who held both his heart and his future in his hands. "Kaname," he pleaded softly, wanting and needing the other's support. Kaname couldn't breathe. He had never seen Zero look at him like this before. No, not when he had woken up from that coma, not when Kaname has admitted how much he cared for him, not even when they made love. But from the way their bond tingled softly and from the way Zero was looking at him now like - like, perhaps... if all the stars in the universe had somehow magically aligned and if Kaname was suddenly oh so very, very lucky... just maybe...

"Zero, answer me! Has he _ever_ let you screw him? Has he ever laid on his back, or got onto his hands and knees for you, even just once?"

Both Kaname and Zero had forgotten the master hunter standing there, so lost were they both in each other's burning, longing gazes. At the loud, frustrated tones, Kaname glanced almost absently at Yagari, who was looking somewhat bewildered at the completely weird way the two were staring at each other.

Then Kaname reached out, placing a protective arm around Zero's shoulders and pulling him close to his side. The pureblood never wanted anyone else to find this out, other than the group of nobles in his inner circle who had already accidentally found out that day in the library. But seeing Zero to torn and so conflicted, knowing how deeply the boy felt for his teacher and craved his respect...

_What the hell. _

Kaname would do anything for Zero, even if it meant lowering his pride once again. The pureblood's long fingers tightened on Zero's shoulder and his eyes gleamed a soft red, borne of fierce anger and a certain degree of embarrassment. But there was no shame at all in the burning depths that now held Yagari's surprised attention.

"Yes, I have, if you must know." Kaname voice was quiet... matter of fact... and absolutely, compellingly sincere. "More than once. Ask Zero if you don't believe me. On my back or on my knees, it doesn't matter how."

Kaname ignored the damning flush creeping hotly over his cheeks. He didn't have to hear the soft, surprised inhale at his side or feel the confusion echoing in their bond to know that Zero was confounded at his admission. Kaname's arm tightened around his lover's shoulder and he felt Zero's fingers closing convulsively over his hand. "I would also crawl through the fires of hell for Zero, Yagari. Not that I care whether you know it or not. But only because Zero looks up to you _that_ much."

Yagari blinked rapidly. He wasn't such a novice to be taken in by a vampire's sweet talk... but he had to admit that he had never before seen such burning, radiant honesty in the pureblood's compelling eyes. "He is not my thrall, Yagari," Kaname insisted. "He never will be... but he _is_ mine."

Likewise, the utter possessiveness in those eyes were unmistakable. But it was tempered with something else. Yagari was shocked now to realise that Kaname Kuran, pureblood prince, really did care for Zero after all.

Had the world suddenly turned on its head?

"Kaname?" Zero's whisper drew the pureblood's gaze. Still feeling a bit flushed, Kaname turned and smiled a little at the amazement in the younger hunter's face. "You... didn't have to tell him... _that_," Zero whispered, still torn over utter embarrassment at the pureblood's revelation of their love life, and the sweetest kind of pride he had ever felt.

There really was no one like Kaname after all, was there?

"And I love you," Kaname confessed softly, his gaze locking with Zero's as he placed both hands on the hunter's shoulders. Zero was trembling slightly and Kaname realised that it didn't matter anymore that they were not alone. It didn't matter that this was not how Kaname had planned to let Zero know – in fact, he hadn't actually planned on telling him anytime soon. But somehow, Kaname knew that there would be no more perfect time than now, to tell Zero just how much he mattered to him, and to put whatever fears he still had left to rest. Once and for all. And if letting Yagari witness this very private, very precious admission would help Zero in any way, then so be it.

"I love you, Zero. With all my heart. With everything that I have," Kaname said, his voice and his look radiating nothing but honest sincerity.

Hot tears welled up and slipped unchecked down Zero's cheeks. He couldn't say or do anything but stare at Kaname as if all his wildest dreams had come true at one go and he was actually a little frightened of it.

"Wha – Kaname, no, you don't have to say that," he protested weakly, his mind spinning. _Oh God, is it true, Kaname? You would not say that unless it were so..._

Kaname's smile deepened. "Why not?" he asked softly, both his hands coming up now to cup Zero's flushed, damp cheeks. "When it's the truth?" he murmured, then bent forward to plant a soft kiss on Zero's forehead, against the fall of silver hair. Zero's lips parted on a sigh and his amethyst eyes closed in sheer, unbelievable joy.

A distracted cough sounded beside them. Flustered, Zero glanced sideways then struggled to get out of Kaname's arms. The pureblood resisted, of course, and at length, Zero got his freedom, or part of it anyway, since Kaname's arm was still firmly around his shoulders.

Yagari was staring at them both, part shocked, part disgusted... and a very small part of him touched. "You – you're not just saying that to get out of this alive, vampire?" he drawled, striving for a less shell shocked tone. But after a moment and without even waiting for an answer from Kaname, the older hunter holstered back his shotgun.

Kaname took that as a positive sign. "No," he agreed gravely. "But it is only because Zero looks up to you that you know this – and live," he added, unable to resist making a quiet threat of his own. _Tell no one else_, his dark eyes warned silently.

The older hunter nodded decisively. He respected Zero too much to drag his name in the dust like this and besides, who could he tell, anyway? The one person he might have told had already passed on but Yagari had a feeling old Cross would in all likelihood not mind as much... or perhaps even at all.

Yagari hesitated. He had as much as told Zero he would no longer be the boy's teacher, but in truth, Yagari still wanted to. He wanted to stick around the boy, to train him up, to see him reach his full potential and to keep watch over him. So the pureblood cared for Zero – well, it wouldn't harm the boy to have someone else watching over him, would it?

"About your lessons, Zero," Yagari started somewhat diffidently. Zero opened his mouth then closed it and glanced at Kaname.

"I would appreciate it if you would continue to train Zero" the pureblood said, his voice once more smooth, his features in control again. "It would mean much to him... and to me," he added quietly.

Yagari hesitated again before nodding. But there was something else he wanted to know. "Even if I train him to be the best hunter in the world?" There was a touch of arrogance in his gruff voice now... and the return of a threat as well.

It only made Kaname smile.

"_Especially_ if you train him to be the best hunter in the world," he affirmed smoothly. Another moment of silence passed as Yagari took in Kaname's cool and steady gaze and Zero's softer, more hopeful one. Then the older hunter nodded once, turned around and left the room.

Both Kaname and Zero were alone again. No more interruptions, thought Kaname, except to reassure the hunter in his arms of his true feelings. He didn't care if Zero would never love him the way he wanted him to. Just having Zero close to him, knowing that they would always be together and that Zero cared for him in his own way was enough.

Peace settled warmly in Kaname's heart as he wrapped both arms around Zero and held him close.

-- Chapter End --


End file.
